Society tends to create standards in different aspects of our lives. People are obsessed with every detail, not only with the things you do but also with who you are. This makes every one of us push harder and do more in order to justify that they are worthy of praise and love. You become eager to be perfect; you change yourself to fit in the crowd. Why? Because you want to be accepted. However, this kind of mentality only sets you to unrealistic and unachievable expectations, which make you forget to live your life.
Perfectionism puts intense pressure on oneself. Instead of feeling loved, you only end up feeling worse about yourself and begin to sacrifice your happiness- offering you only a negative impact on your well-being. There you would realize that even pushing yourself harder, and it is impossible to reach the finish line, which seems to get further. As a woman of color, you might have encountered people or resides in a place that measures your self-worth. Perfectionism may have greeted you and tried to replace the real you. Anxiety then drives you to live up feeling miserable. You begin to question your race, to find the reason why such is a big deal. Instead of worrying about them, you have to prioritize your dreams and your happiness.
Be comfortable with your true self
The first step towards having a positive life is to be comfortable with who you are. What about your skin? What about your nose? What about your hair? Nothing’s wrong with them. When you begin to accept your true identity, you begin to appreciate yourself. You’ll learn that regardless of your color or your physical attributes, you are a woman full of thousand capabilities, and not even negative remarks can take them away from you.
Bear in mind that lack of contentment forbids you to recognize your ability and your own beauty.
In fact, I’m sure most of us feel this way. We all understand the importance of completing a task and we all understand that that task most likely won’t be completed unless we take the time to complete it.
Rarely do we come home to find an essay we’ve been putting off magically completed. Rarely do we go to work to discover that we have nothing to do because it’s already been done for us? Rarely does the great work get written without the writer.
Historically procrastination has been viewed as a negative thing, both theologically and societally. Though, at some points in history (particularly the aristocratically driven French culture of the 17th and 18th centuries) not doing things was considered the height of gentlemanly “pursuits.”
Let go of perfectionism
When you release yourself from perfectionism, you would have a clearer view of finding your happiness. Only when you let go of these unrealistic expectations can you find your peace. Embracing perfectionism is imprisoning yourself. Come out of your comfort zone and move forward. Don’t hold back and leave the idea of following society’s standards. Your happiness is in your hand.
Live for yourself
Living up the way others wanted prevents you enjoy your life. Don’t listen to their nasty remarks; you are more than that. When you become a people pleaser, you’ll miss many moments that should be for yourself. You have to realize that your life is your own, and living for them only means wasting your time and effort. Focus on the moment and live the way you wanted. Your color is not your limitation.
Make yourself a priority
You are not obliged to make people happy. Yes, you have to prioritize maintaining a positive relationship with other people like your friends, but that doesn’t mean sacrificing your connection with yourself. Prioritizing yourself means putting your happiness first. People of color are also human beings in need of freedom, love, and peace- and they shouldn’t be deprived of those. We all share the same blood with the same strength and capabilities.
